HaneOtonoko no Ki
by Lost Luggage
Summary: Full description inside. An original story inspired by some of the wierdest animes in circulation. Follow the horribly follied life of Shou Mizushima as told by those who know and care about him the most. Second chapter schedualed for New Years Eve, lates
1. Full Description

Note: Well, after shuffling between interests for about a two years, I finally have come close enough to finishing one of the stories to actually release a brief story description ahead of time (due to how short they must be under the actual link) I will not be adding a disclaimer to this one because it's a work of my own crude design. And just to clarify:

Claimer: This is an original work done by user "SigmaEpsalon". To post this on another blog, forum, etc. it must first be sourced, preferably with a link to the version of the story. All character or setting similarities between this story and any other copyrighted work that may or may not arise are purely coincidental. If you've paid for this, you've been screwed over. Hunt down the guy who charged you and get your money back.

Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to take the time to apologize for not updating on Cailcian Chronicles for over two and a half years. Due to my lack of interest in the subject, I can't get a feel for the characters, subsequently causing the collapse of any decent writing addition. This topic, however, is fairly easy for me to write about and if updates don't continue for more than a month, chances are I've either been kidnapped, mutilated upon a fence pole and/or I'm just being lazy. Due to the improbability of the first two possibilities, I recommend that if a situation like that occurs, you should probably start flaming like the world was about to end and you don't have anything else better to do. Eventually, I'll get so tired of gutting my inbox of angry letters that I'll finally start working on the story just to get you guys off of my back. It'll be more likely, however, that my focus will have shifted to yet **another** topic and sooner or later I will run out of new ideas. When that day comes, get ready for a flood of new stories as I try to finish the dozens of old ones stashed away on PCs across my daily life.

In the mean time though, I'll try not to give up on this one the same way I did Cailcian Chronicles. 'Till next time: Read on and WRITE ON!

* * *

Hane-Otokonoko no Ki tells three different stories simultaneously, starting with the story of a shy, middle school graduate, prodigy from the fictional city of Kotaiga. Though he excels at all things Academically related, he lacks almost all practical, civic knowledge of the world around him (Such as failing to use something as simple as a microwave or being unable to hold long conversations). Seeing this, his older brother and what little friends he has decide to give him a crash course in the real world involving everything from earning money in order to buy his own school supplies to dating. Also included is the protagonist's brother and his struggle to pay rent for collage and the decay of Kotaiga it self. There is a small, supernatural-themed subplot that will eventually be revealed as the story continues. The story was inspired by three of the strangest animes in existence: Fooly Cooly, Azumanga Daioh, and The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

* * *

Note: Well that was short! Shouldn't I be working on the story it's self? I promise I'll have it done by next friday (Dec 21st) at the very latest. Well, I'm out for now! Cya… 


	2. Ep1: Kotaiga 101

_Kotaiga has seen better days._

_Ever since Nishi district was constructed 17 years ago, the city's been a little too big for the mayor to hang onto and for the longest time; Minami district has been all but forgotten. During that time, scum wasted no time in moving in. Like I said, it's seen better days. But I digress, since I'm way too young to be talking about something that happened that long ago as if I was there. The only thing I can talk about like I actually know about it is that the city…or at least the district's, last hope would probably be that kid:_

_Shou Mizushima_

_Ah! There he is now!_

_Who is he? Well, he's probably one of the smartest people in the district, for his age at the very least. I'm not even kidding! Sure he looks completely lost, trudging over that bridge with groceries and a blank stare, but I'm serious, under the mask, kid's a genius! He moved here about three years ago and, in that time frame, he's probably saved my ass more times than I can count. But that's another story. OH! And by the way: My names Takuma Kato, delinquent and Mizushima's exact opposite. Well, talk later. Mizushima's let his guard down; a mistake he should never make while walking through Minami. It's Shou time…heh…sorry, that was bad!_

As Shou crossed the bridge, he failed to notice Takuma sneaking up from behind. After moments of approach, Shou reached the center of the bridge. Without warning, Takuma snagged Shou by his short, tame, black-violet hair. With a loud "BRAAAAAAAT!" and little effort, he swung back, and hurled the far smaller figure of a dumbfounded Mizushima over the railing of the bridge and into the Yasuraka River from which the city draws its name.

_I know this seems cruel, but it's for the best._

After a couple seconds, Shou surfaced at the banks a short distance down river and, without coughing or gasping of any kind, pulled himself, groceries and all, onto the grassy edge of the river. He lifted his arms to glance at the drenched sleeves with the same cold, emotionless stare that he wore on the bridge, than he looked up at Takuma.

"Why did you do that?" he asked in a mere whisper that Takuma could barely here from the bridge.

_He's kidding, right?_

Shou continued his aimless stare.

"You're kidding, right?" Takuma said, aloud this time. The delinquent hopped the railing of the bridge and landed on the riverbank after a fairly insignificant fall, "You know you can't calm down in this district for a second!" He walked toward Shou and continued, "One of these days, someone bigger and a whole lot harrier than me's going to jump you and I know I'm gonna get blamed for it when I show up on your doorstep with what's left of you bundled in some rolling paper! Takuma helped Shou to his feet, and then eyed the green bag.

_Groceries??? This kid doesn't even know how to tie his own shoe!_

"You're _actually_ running an errand?" Takuma said with surprise. Shou raised the bag to his own eye level.

"Mother wanted me to fetch her curry." He spoke bluntly,

"Well, congrats! You actually did it right!"

"Not really." There was an awkward silence, broken moments later by the rustling of the green grocery bag as the silver-eyed boy lowered it to his side.

_I better just bite…_

Takuma sighed, "What happened?" As Shou explained, Takuma attempted to picture it in his head, somehow resulting in a Chibi animation version of what really happened.

"I went to the shopping district immediately after mother instructed, only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I walked back home, retrieved it, and returned to the shopping district, only to find I had forgotten to take the money from mother. I acquired the money, 450 yen, and returned to the district to realize that there was a discount on curry and I only needed 320 yen. So walked home to return the remaining 130 yen to my mother and then proceeded again to the shopping district. Mother said I didn't have to return with the change prior to buying the product. I apologized." Shou's expression drew a slight tone of surprise, somehow remaining cold, as imaginary yellow lines flashed above his head "This happened before my return to the shopping district." He added bluntly. Takuma cocked an eyebrow with a look of disbelief plastered on his face.

_You have got to be kidding me! Is this kid even real?_

Shou continued, "I selected a box of curry soon after my arrival, however, I hesitated before moving to the counter, as I did not know what to say when I buy it. Before I could come up with an expectable greeting, security brought me to the security room. They asked my name and then paged over the PA system for my mother." The tone of surprise and flashing lines returned briefly, "That was after I told them my name." After continuously paging for "the mother of Shou Mizushima" they asked for my mothers name and what store she might be in. I told them that she was at home and they seemed surprised. One of them asked how old I was and when I told them I was fourteen they seemed even more surprised."

_With your size and demeanor, I'd be surprised myself if they weren't!_

"They apologized for holding me up and tried to shoo me out the door, however, I managed to ask for the acceptable way to greet a clerk when trying to buy something. They seemed the most surprised after that." Takuma cradled his face in his hand as he moaned in disbelief. "They told me that there was no need to give any greeting and that I should merely give the clerk the money for the product. After this, I returned to the store and purchased the curry, and then I walked home and was ambushed by you." He gave one last tone of surprise, "I didn't make it home before you ambushed me." Takuma was almost in tears.

_How…how???_

"Well, at least you got the curry. So, what type did your mom want?" He asked with a sigh, looking up from his palm. Shou's face again refused to change.

"Type?" yet another awkward silence fell over the two.

_If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: This kid can't be real! Why is it that no matter how often this happens, I never get used to hearing these horror stories. Needless to say, Mizushima once again tops the cake with a cherry.

* * *

_

"Uncle Inferno's Extra Spicy Powdered Curry: Triple Pepper." Takuma sighed with his back against the bridge, holding the box with one hand, "Well, Shou, this time you've outdone yourself."

"Is it bad?" Shou asked, somehow sounding dopey through his usual monotone.

"No, not at all!" Takuma said, facing the sky with his eyes closed, "That's actually my favorite brand." Eyes still closed, "It's an acquired taste, though. My throat swelled to the size of a softball when I first tried it." Shou took the box and looked at it for a while. Another long, awkward silence fell. "You alright there Mizushima?" Takuma chuckled. Another silence dropped until Shou finally looked at Takuma,

"I'm not sure what to say next." He stated,

"And THAT would be why I'm your only friend." Takuma pointed out, "C'mon, you should probably get going. Your mom must already be panicking after having a naïve kid like you gone for so long." Another silence,

"I still want to talk." Shou said, "But I don't know what about." Takuma sighed again, snagging the curry box from his hand and shoving it into the grocery bag.

"We'll talk tomorrow. I wasn't expecting guests today anyway."

_Something seemed different about his stare for a moment. Was it disappointment? Do you really just want to talk that badly Mizushima?_

Shou paused as usual, than replied with a quiet, indifferent, "Alright" and strolled up the hill and across the bridge. Takuma watched as he walked off, and continued watching after he and the sun had disappeared from sight. Upon the street lights turning on, he finally turned his attention to the cigarette in his pocket. Biting it, he struck a match on the concrete of the bridge and lit the cigarette, casting the match into the river.

_His mom's not going to be too happy. Now that's the life. Roof over your head, a caring parent, and all the mistaken curry you can eat. Sure as hell better than cigarettes, a bridge and scraps. But, hey, it's home._

_I never did tell you how Shou saved me, did I? Well, let's just say that he has the trust of the teachers and a real way with words when he needs to.

* * *

_

(Flashback)

* * *

"Come on! My parents aren't back yet!" A young Takuma's voice filled the halls,

"Kato-San, you've used the excuse of your parents being away for three months. If you don't specify a convenient time for me to visit your parents soon, I will be forced to check the school records for your address and visit to discus your grades at an _inconvenient _time." A teacher retorted in a stern tone.

"But they _aren't_ home yet!"

"How can you're parents be gone for three months strait? HM? Sorry Kato-San, but I gave up believing that story a month ago! I've run out of patience. I'm pulling the records!"

"NO! Please don't!" Just then a third voice interjected from behind the two,

"Excuse me." Takuma and the Teacher turned to see an even younger Shou standing behind them with the same, blank stare. "Teacher, he speaks the truth. His parents are on a paleontological dig in northern Singapore and will not return for another three years. For the time being, he is staying with me and my mother. You may consult her in place of his parents." The teacher stared at him for a short period of time, then replied,

"Thank you Mizushima-San." She smiled at her top student, "Please come with me, I need to record your address." She walked by him and into the classroom. Shou didn't follow, merely staring at Takuma.

"Why'd you do that?" he shouted, "It's not going to change anything!"

"I told my mother about the boy under the bridge and how he wishes to stay there." Shou stated, surprising the delinquent he just rescued, "She is willing to help and knows my story already. I don't fully understand your reasoning for staying, but I respect it." And with that, Shou turned and disappeared into the classroom, leaving Kato astonished in the hallway.

* * *

(End of flashback)

* * *

_That was the first time he saved me. Since then, I've lost count of how many times he's repeated that act, but I still know that it worked every time. They said I could stay at their house, but I have my own reasons for sticking with this bridge._

He took a long, heavy drag.

_That's why I have to make it up to the kid. I owe him just about everything._

After a moment, he let out the smoke with a sigh.

"Maybe I should pay'em a visit. _Someone's_ got to call the ambulance!" with that, he climbed the hill, taking long drags on the cigarette in an attempt to finish it off quick, "Not to mention I'm starved!"

* * *

Moments later, the doorbell of the Kato residence rings. A young woman walked to the door and opened it to find a hungry looking, blue-haired delinquent on the doorstep.

"Evening Mrs. Mizushima." Takuma greeted,

"Oh! Kato-San! Nice of you to drop by! Please, come in." Mrs. Mizushima continued as Takuma walked through the door,

"We were just sitting down to dinner. Would you mind joining us?" she asked, smiling at him,

"Thanks, don't mind if I do." He replied as he took off his shoes and glanced around at the tiny, slightly run down townhouse. As he walked into the kitchen, he turned to find two people already seated at the table. One was, of course, Shou. The other looked older, possibly in his early twenties, with blue hair that was gelled into an array of backward-facing spikes and pieced bangs.

_There's a face I haven't seen recently._

"Been a while senpai!" Takuma greeted, "'bout time you came back!"

"Haven't chucked my brother off of any balconies while I was gone, have you?" the newcomer asked jokingly, his eyebrows jutted uneven across his face in an inquiring glare,

"Nope!" Takuma replied, sitting at the table, "Bridges." Mrs. Mizushima strolled into the room and acquired a surprised look.

"Ah! Kato-San, you Kenji right?" she said, her look sweetening to a smile once again.

"How could I forget this guy?" Takuma replied with a light chuckle, "He's the guy that can't take a joke!"

"One time, man. One time." Kenji laughed in retort,

"Alright, that's enough." Shou's mother said calmly, placing a plate of curried rice in front of Takuma, "You're foods going to get cold."

"Right! Ikutakimas!" Takuma exclaimed, picking up his chopsticks and shoveling back a mouthful of curry.

_Ah! Uncle Inferno still cuts like a knife!_

Takuma's face turned red as he held the curry in his mouth. He swallowed hard and gasped, then trusted his thumb into the air.

"Now **THAT** is curry!" he shouted,

"Oh, good." Kenji responded, "I was worried it'd be too spicy." With that he popped a small portion into his mouth and turned so red, he could put beets to shame. His eyes burst into uncontrollable tears and he writhed around violently.

"Ouch! Better call 911!" Takuma laughed nervously, "Wait! I think he's letting it go!" Kenji spat out the rice like a bullet and rushed to the sink, ripping the cold water knob wide open and started chugging. "Not gonna help." Takuma advised, attempting to talk over Mrs. Mizushima's panic, "You need bread _fast!_"

_Dinner and a show!_

Wheezing, Kenji bolted over to the fridge, tore it open and began devouring the only loaf of bread.

_What can I say? When I saw the dude trying to swallow a loaf of bread whole, I couldn't help myself. He really only needed two slices, but, hey! Where's the fun in that?_ _After the ordeal, Kenji couldn't stay conscious. He passed out in his bed upstairs with a blush like a schoolgirl and his younger brother fanning him with a paper towel. After seeing him in that state, I doubt that they would ever eat curry again. Well, more for me! I decided it would be best if I left soon after. But I was stopped by the kid on my way out._

"Take it." Shou said bluntly, holding out the box of curry with a small box of rice on top and bearing the same, indifferent stare. Takuma sighed,

"Listen man. I already stole your dinner, I can't take this too!" Shou's look dropped to the box as he paused for a moment, then he looked back up at Takuma,

"I can't eat it. You can. You're still hungry, right?"

"I can't even make the stuff! Think kid. I live under a bridge! I don't have a microwave!" There was another awkward silence. Moments later, Shou broke it.

"Wait here." Shou turned and returned to the confines of his house, incurring a rather unexcited look from his taller friend,

_What's he up to now?_

Moments later, Shou returned, this time carrying his microwave along with the food!

_This kid can't be real!_

"Uuuuh, thanks but no thanks." Takuma murmured, turning to leave, "I'm gonna go now." And with that, he walked off into the dark streets of Minami district. He paused and, for an unknown reason, turned to look back at his friend. He was still standing on the concrete walkway, looking down at the pile he had just tried to hawk away.

_I'll make it up to him…_

Takuma turned away again.

…_I have to…

* * *

_

_The next day went by slow. As I skipped stones I wonder how I could pay the kid back for everything. The key word there's definitely the everything part. How can you pay back someone who's helped you as much as Shou's helped me? This was getting pretty annoying!_

"Hey! No loitering!" A voice shouted from above him,

"Ah. So the man has a sense of humor after all." Takuma looked up to find Kenji standing on the bridge above him, then added, "Wasn't that good though." Grinning wide, Kenji hopped the railing and fell to the grass beside Takuma.

"In all seriousness thought, we have to talk." Kenji informed, face going serious. Takuma raised a slightly annoyed eyebrow to the remark,

"As long as you're not coming onto me, I'm all ears!" Kenji swung to at Takuma, who ducked the attack, only to be caught in a headlock the next second. "HEY! **HEY**! I was just kidding!" hearing this, Kenji released his victim,

"Just listen, alright?" Kenji sighed,

"Fine." Takuma agreed,

"Alright," Kenji began, "I'm sure you know my brother's going into high school, and, if you hadn't already noticed, he's a little rough around the edges."

"You could put it that way."

"I know from experience that high school can be pretty merciless, and I've got a feeling that Shou is not going to last that long. He needs to learn how to…"

"Grow up?" A vein protruded from Kenji's face as it grew unamused,

"I was going to say fit in."

"Whatever."

"As I was saying, this is probably going to be easier said than done, so, and I honestly can't believe I'm saying this, but…I need your help."

"That's it?" Takuma asked, "That really wasn't something to get worked up about!"

"You know him better than anyone. Considering, for me, this is like meeting him for the first time all over again, since I've been away at university, I really could use some backup here." Kenji paused, "Believe me; I am **not** going to ask again! So, you in?"

_That was around the time it hit me like a Mack with a trippin' balls driver: The kid needs tutoring! Not for intelligence, but serious life skills. This could be the only chance I have left to make things up to him…but than again…_

"Alright, first of all, why me? If you haven't noticed, I'm not much of a role model, even if I am his friend." Takuma admitted,

"You think I'm going to trust you with the whole job?" Kenji pointed out,

"Alright, so who else is going to help?"

"I don't know." Kenji looked to the river, "You have connections, right? Just don't bring any more delinquents."

"Thanks a lot."

"Just get it done, will ya?"

"Whatever." With those final words, Kenji left the bridge and walked off into town. Sighing deep, Takuma lit a smoke.

_Well, I couldn't have gotten landed with a harder task if I owed someone over 20000000 Yen by sundown. All the same, I didn't really have any other options for paying the kid back. This was the one and only thing he needs, and that has to be worth the same as keeping me with this bridge. Besides, I was kind of doing it already with the whole ambush thing. Just got to step it up a little…who am I kidding? He doesn't just need self defense training! That kid's brain needs a full rework! But who the hell am I going to find to help me with this one?

* * *

_

Day turned to night and another day passed. When morning came, Shou opened his window on the second story and let the sunlight warm him with outstretched arms. As he took in a deep breath, a loud, crisp report rang through the air and Shou received a fast moving projectile to his revealed forehead. Red fluid sprayed from the impact as the violet haired boy fell limp and landed on the floor with a thud, completely motionless. An eerie hush filled the neighborhood as all was still until a shout shattered the silence.

"I KEEP TELLING YA KID! KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN! IF I WAS SOME GREASY DUDE WITH A DESERT EAGLE YOU'D HAVE YOUR ROOM REDECORATED WITH YOUR OWN BRAINS RIGHT NOW!" Shou got up and looked out the window, red fluid dripping down the center of his face, to find Takuma outside in the middle of the street with the silhouette of a pistol loosely dangling from his finger by the trigger guard. "Now get your ass down here! I'm going to teach you how to make John Wu weep!"

_Things may seem impossible now, but I've got a feeling that everything's going work it's self out. After all, if there's one thing this kids got, other than brains, it has gotta be luck…

* * *

_

Note: Dénouement! MAN this one took long! Sorry for the wait, but this is pretty different from what I'm used to writing. Thanks for everyone's support on Cailcian Chronicles and I apologize for halting production, but, if you haven't already noticed, I've kinda had my hands full. As for chapter 2, I'm probably going to have both hands tied over Christmas break, plus I need to make this next one longer. Due to this factor, I'm setting New Years as my deadline this time around. If I abandon it before than, commence the flaming Well, 'till next time: Read on and WRITE ON!


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